Week Two of Homeschool: When I Needed Grace More Than My Kids Did

If I'm being honest, week two of easing into homeschool didn't go very well.

And it was completely my fault.

Last week, we intentionally took things slow. We eased into our new routine, and it felt peaceful. But somewhere between Sunday evening and Monday morning, I convinced myself that the "easing in" phase was over. It was time to blaze ahead.

So instead of one lesson at a time, I wanted to conquer the entire day's work.

You can probably guess how that turned out.

My second-born (and if you're a mama with a second-born, you probably understand our wonderfully complicated relationship!) was working through math. Ironically, math has always come easily to me. Because of that, I sometimes forget what it feels like to truly struggle with numbers.

I asked her a simple question.

"Can you point to the parentheses?"

Without missing a beat, she blurted out, "Five… nine!"

I smiled and tried again.

"Ella, can you point to the parentheses? I just want to make sure you know what they are."

She looked at the page and confidently replied, "Plus… minus… seven?"

And then I did something I immediately regretted.

Frustrated, overwhelmed, and trying far too hard to stay on my schedule, I raised my voice and said, "Stop being an idiot."

The words left my mouth, and I wished I could grab them out of the air before they reached her.

But I couldn't.

As tears slowly streamed down her cheeks, I realized I hadn't just interrupted a math lesson—I had wounded my little girl's heart.

I wrapped her in the biggest hug I could give and apologized over and over. I told her I was wrong. That I should never have spoken to her that way. That she is smart, deeply loved, and learning something new is never something to be ashamed of.

As we talked, we came up with a plan.

We decided our family safe word would be "zebra."

If she starts blurting out random answers because she's nervous or overwhelmed, instead of either of us getting frustrated, I'll simply say, "Zebra."

It'll be our signal to stop, breathe, laugh a little, and reset.

Thankfully, we both ended up giggling about our new code word.

But the bigger lesson wasn't about math.

It was about me.

I realized that the tighter I try to control our homeschool day—trying to squeeze every lesson into my perfectly planned schedule—the worse things become. Homeschool isn't just about checking boxes or finishing pages. It's about discipling hearts, building relationships, and helping our children discover that learning can be joyful.

Sometimes the lesson God is teaching isn't in the curriculum.

Sometimes He's teaching the teacher.

This week, He reminded me that my children don't need a perfect homeschool mom.

They need one who is willing to apologize.

One who asks for forgiveness.

One who keeps pointing them to Jesus—even after she has failed.

If you've had one of those days where you've lost your patience, raised your voice, or wished you could rewind the last five minutes, I hope you'll find grace in my story.

Because there is forgiveness at the cross.

His mercies really are new every morning.

Tomorrow is another opportunity to begin again.

And if all else fails…

Just remember:

Zebra. 🦓